Things No One Asked For: The Guzzle Buddy Beer Bottle Glass

by Ryan Hudak on Sep 6, 2017 in Beer

Today I learned some astonishing news.  You know those wine glasses you can screw into your wine bottle so you can give yourself the illusion of being classy while you’re actually a human monster?  Not only were these things not a joke, but they were constantly selling out.  And not only are the wine versions here to stay, but now the company is making the Guzzle Buddy Beer Bottle Glass! Of course, the wine glass would be perfectly acceptable for drinking good beer, but if you’re buying this, I’m assuming you’d be too stupid to know that.  And that you absolutely are not drinking good beer.

For the low price of $24.99, you can head over to Amazon and grab the 12oz glass bottle topper — although I’m not sure why you need any ounces, since all the beer is still held in the bottle and the glass is just to repel anyone with a modicum of self-respect.  The glass does come stamped with the Guzzle Buddy logo, complete with the slogans “Plug it and Chug It” and “Pouring is Boring,” both of which sound like they were ripped off the back of a pickup truck seen driving through West Virginia.
 
But there is more good news for the sentient trash who would buy something like this—it’s freezer safe, so you can have a nice frosty beer straight out of the bottle.  Again, anyone who has any kind of respect towards beer knows that the frosted glass is a huge no-no for multiple reasons.  And don’t forget that it’s dishwasher safe—another thing anyone who respects their beer glassware will know is off-limits.  But, like I said, if you are buying this thing, you probably don’t respect beer. Or its glassware. Or yourself.

 

Photo via Guzzle Buddy on Facebook

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